


Lorenzo's Boo-Boo

by AwatereJones



Series: Dylan Verse [15]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: Alt Verse, Comedy, Drama, Family, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-05-08 16:48:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14698308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwatereJones/pseuds/AwatereJones
Summary: You are all so bossy calm donw, here is the next instalment LOL ...Lorenzo has an antercatio at school with the rivals and the aftermath gets a bit...out of hand. Come see how quickly things can esculate when there are intelligent children guided by their loving Taddy...you wil need to get omfortable, those chairs can be hard in the cafeteria. Alt Verse





	1. Chapter 1

"Ianto Harkness-Jones speaking, how may I assist you?" Ianto spoke into the phone as he closed the file he had been making notes in, his face changing from bland to concern as Andy rose from the floor where he had been playing with Carley.

"Ianto?"

"I will be right there" Ianto said before hanging up "Andy, cancel Mister and Missus Grok can you, reschedule or something. Were they my last clients today?"

"Yeah…Ianto? What happened?"

"Lorenzo has been in an altercation at school and is in the Wellness Room" Ianto frowned, "They wouldn't say what happened so I have a feeling it will be to do with pins."

"Pins…ah. Hoodlums versus the Plods?" Andy sighed, the old arguments between the Hoodlum Clan and the local Heddlu called Plods behind their backs. Their children went to the same school and they wore their little shields with pride. Future tossers.

"I'll keep her nibs busy here with the vacuum cleaner" Andy said and she squealed and ran for the cupboard, slapping at it excitedly as she loved riding on it with the air blasting her dress up as Andy dragged her around on it while vacuuming the house.

Ianto hurried out to the garage and leapt in the first Hover, his own sleek sports model from his single life that he had been considering putting up for sale. He zoomed to the school and ran for the room where his little boy would be waiting as he sat forlorn and alone.

Silly.

Of course he wasn't alone.

Grik and Dylan were with him, faces like stone as they refused to leave and the nurse's voice could be heard from the outer hallways as he scolded the boys and demanded they leave. Not only was she rude, she was clearly dripping with dislike.

"Excuse me, why are you speaking to them in that tone?" Ianto demanded as he strode in, "How dare you speak down to them. They are students here and you are paid to care for them."

"And who the hell are you?" she bristled, "If you are a handler for one of these shits just take him and go."

Ianto blinked, his breath in a warning that Dylan recognised and he stepped forward to flank his Taddy, Lorenzo sliding from the bed to do the same as they felt the strength in the room.

"I am Doctor Ianto Harkness-Jones and I will have your job and your bloody licence for this." Ianto snarled, "Come boys, let's go to the office and get a copy of the room recording. I want to see everything she said to you as well as the altercation."

Grik ran excitedly ahead, never seeing a Hoodlum speak with such power and he watched those in the office step back with alarm as Ianto powered in with his hands slamming down on the desk for attention, "Where is he."

"Doctor?" the Head Master peeked around his doorframe and then looked down at Lorenzo and his bloody collar and shirt from the nose bleed he had suffered, "Ah. The scuffle. Those responsible have been…ah… spoken to."

"Violence will not be tolerated" Ianto snarled, "I expect you to send me ALL footage of the altercation and the resolution process in place."

A squeak.

"I also expect to see the nurse back there removed, I will not have a child in MY care spoken to like a second class citizen … not with the amount of money we pay this establishment" Ianto was calm now, icy calm and the poor man shrunk a bit more behind the doorframe as he looked at the children.

"Grik?"

"I have already spoken to his parentals, he is coming home with me and I shall assist them with any claim against this school" Ianto said and now there was spluttering as the man completely disappeared.

As they left Ianto did call the parentals who were more than happy for Grik to go with him, also pleased a fellow Hoodlum was on the front line. Also, Grik's little sister was being dropped off for some little girl madness, Jack would be overjoyed to return from his appointment to find two little princesses in need of gushing.

Hopefully it will temper his explosion when he sees the bloody shirt.

Nothing was going to help Ianto unfortunately who was beyond professional now, his Hoodlum self incensed as he knew damned well this as an attack on Hoodlum. Maybe he should talk to some of the High Generals. See how the school likes a little visit to be reminded of the power this planet still bends to.

Whether they like it or not.


	2. second problem

Ianto parked and let the other two boys run inside then turned to Lorenzo, pulling him into his lap to check his nose, sure it was not broken but wanting the child to see he was concerned for him.

He then released him and headed inside to find Andy feeding them like a good man.

Carley pointed at Lorenzo and hooted with alarm as he leaned in for her to look, both eyes starting to blacken.

"I am well urinated" Ianto hissed as Andy snorted at the polite term for a common slang.

"So will Jack be" Andy surmised the reason for Ianto's annoyance, "He's incoming. I hear the doors."

"Shi….ps." Ianto snatched up the two little girls in their matching bibs and made it to the door as it swung open to reveal the handsome devil who immediately squealed with glee as he dropped his briefcase to seize them.

"Oh ho!" he crooned, "Two beautiful warrior queens come to save me from the bad, horrible boredom of this suit. Come, help me choose some better clothes my wonderful brave women."

Squealing as hands flapped and Jack strode off as Ianto breathed with relief, then did a double take as Jack passed the kitchen doorway, backing up to look into the kitchen as he lowered the girls from his hips to the floor.

Damn.

"Ianto? Is Lorenzo wearing eye liner?"

"No. He was bumped in the face" Ianto said calmly, "Nothing broken and he is feeling much better now I've fussed. You go change and I will sort the boys. When the kids are all good we can discuss it."

Nope.

Of course that didn't work.

This was not a small child who was trainable. This was a Harkness fully engaged as he placed the girls down and stormed over to look into their son's face, then turn to Dylan, "Did you get a punch in?"

"I kneed one in the nuts Captain" Grik said proudly, "Dyls head butted one full on Hoodlum style. You sure there ain't some in the blood?"

Jack blinked.

"There was five of the tossers but we decked them all down, laid out like coffins was needed" Grik gained momentum as Ianto face palmed then turned to assist the two annoyed girls who wanted the dressing of their big Daddy Doll.

"How many? Just you three? Five of them?"

"Five boys, and a girl bit she didn't count coz she just threw stuff and none of it hit us." Grik snorted, "Stupid bug didn't see this Grik man when she told them to get us."

"Ah. Her" Ianto muttered, "Should have known she wouldn't let things lie after her little put down."

"I don't know why she doesn't like Enzo man" Grik said loudly, "He's well fit. Is it coz she tried to kiss him that time and he accidently headbutted her thinking that's what she was gonna do?"

"What?" Dylan asked.

"Back in small school. She was gonna butt me" Lorenzo argued back, "I didn't hit her hard, just enough to let her know me head is hard. Not my fault she's a stupid bug who forgets she isn't really shaped like that. I cracked her casing."

"Before she was friends with Dylan?" Ianto asked with that angry fleeing returning as he now saw her game all along. Shame she hadn't learnt about the players. Pawns and kings are all disposable to a bitch queen, eh?

"Well … I've had enough of this" Jack blustered, "We need to talk about home schooling again."

"And they would have never met Grik. And this little kitten, look. Jack, would you really deny your daughter a friend here?" Ianto pouted and Jack looked a the little girls with their matching frowns.

"Awwwww, you are right as always Taddy Bear. They need to interact if only to learn how to tell the dicks in life" Jack held out his arms, "sorry my queens. Come, dress up time. We will leave this one to the expert."

Jack walked out to let the girls play with him no doubt about to get some hair clips as their daughter had now discovered his hair was well fit for them.

"OK. I want to know what you boys want to do. Do you want me on intervene more than I already have or do you want to see if it's going to calm down" Ianto asked, "Only that doesn't seem to be working."

"If she sez sorry" Lorenzo sighed, "OK."

"If she crows about it I will set her on fire" Dylan snarled in full gangster mode and then snorted as he stopped playing, "Yes Taddy. Whatever Enzo wants."

"Whatevers" Grik shrugged, "But me Da will go visit Homb's Da ya know. They know each other and Da will put the fire up his arse…sorry. Butt"

Ianto struggled with that image then nodded, rising from the table, "OK. Tomorrow you will see if she apologises, I will be ready if you call for help and hopefully you will not need it. Daddy is right, it would be easier to keep you safe here but you need to learn to stand up to the bullies in life, there will always be one waiting to trip you up. If I can teach you anything, it will be how to stand tall."

"Don't worry Doc" Grik said happily "Enzo punched that stupid Lekidi so hard on the head he's probably shorter now. We's already taller eh?"

Snorting as they drank their milkshakes and Ianto shook his head.

Hoodlums the lot of them.

Silent pride engaging.

OK.


	3. sit in

Ianto dropped them off and made a show of leaving, then parked at the local café around rhe coner just in case. He had some work with him and he settled at a table and was soon tappng his tablet as he read a file.

Ping

Ianto grimaced and checked the message then rose and left with a wave to the lovely waitress who always enjoyed serving him and chatting, his 'keep the change Nancy' always helped too. Something so be said for loving Hoodlums. He hoped into the Hover and returned to the school where he found the head master anxiously waiting in the parking lot.

"Now Doctor, let's just take things calmly….ah…this is….ah .."

"Take a breath" Ianto demanded, "Focus and tell me what happened."

"The boys entered the cafeteria for morning break and there was…..an altercation" he wrung his hands.

"The same children as yesterday?" Ianto raised an eyebrow, "The ones who were to be in detention each break for the rest of the week and not near mine? Those children?"

"Um, it was a relief teacher who didn't know" he simpered, then glanced back, "It was quite violent. Half the school revolted."

"The Hoodlums?"

"They seem to have the Cafeteria under siege and at the moment we are hoping to get them to unlock the doors. We really hope to diffuse this before parentals need to be called."

Ianto walked through the halls to the doors of the cafeteria and knocked, "Boys? Hello?"

"Who Dat Mon?"

"Ianto. Dyls and Enzo's Taddy."

Noises and scrapping of furniture then the door cracked to show an eyeball, "Howzit?"

"Mandems." Ianto replied sagely, "Yous all straight?"

"Yeah" a small face was more viable with a grin, the tiny Hoodlum sticking his arm out to open the door more, a soup ladle banging on the frame. "Enter."

"Ta" Ianto walked in and watched the children close then barricade the door again. He turned to find a teacher and two kitchen staff sitting at a table smoking as they played cards. He walked over and took a seat, "Are you OK?"

"We're fine" one laughed, "This is a wonderful show of teamwork. It's a peaceful protest and we are happy to wait it out. We are not here against our will. We are supervising."

"So... nothing wrong?"

"Well, there is those ones they tied up over there, so…maybe they have a complaint or two" one shrugged as he hooked a thumb and Ianto looked over at the corner where three children were tied to chairs with tea towels over their mouths as gags.

"Ah"

"She's a mad bug" one of the little kids said, "She came at Enzo with a fucking knife man! We done sorted her, even if the Man was too scared to."

"I see"

Ianto settled, then looked to the kitchen "Cuppa?"

He went to rise but one of the kitchen staff did with a wave of his hand, "I'll get it. They need a snack anyway little shits."

Ianto's phone went and ne answered, "Hello Cariad."

"Ianto? What does the head master mean when he says you are a hostage?"

"The children are having a protest as the other ones are not in the agreed detention room. It's peaceful…well, other than the others tied up but us adults are fine. All good" Ianto crooned, "Should be home in time for dinner."

"A protest?"

"Dylan looks to be in control, a real little leader. Cariad, do you think one of our boys might go into politics? He would make a wonderful minister" Ianto said as he watched Dylan stalk between tables patting others on the back as he spoke to them.

"So… no panicking?"

"No lover. We are fine" Ianto purred, the bark of laughter reassuring as he was now sure Jack would dismiss the panicked Head Master and go back to his paper. Ianto checked his watch and stretched, "Well people? What's the plan?"

"Plan?"

"You need a plan" Ianto nodded, "Is this just a protest where when you are tired or need the loo you give up or in this a protest where you demand stuff and negotiate something before giving in."

Murmurs and then Enzo spoke, "I reckon we need to ask for something then, bugger doing this and not getting anything."

"Yeah!"

"Enzo's right?"

"Well, we need a plan" Dylan nodded as he walked over to the whiteboard with the menu on it, wiping it clean and then writing in large letters as high as he could reach THE PLAN and turned to face his peers.

"Ideas?"

"I think it's not fair that the Plods get the high tables on the platform and we can't see out the windows!" A voice yelled.

"Yeah! And they pick the food first, that's bloody unfair!" another voice boomed from a tiny Borgid.

"Well, what do we ask?" Dylan asked "Separate areas or food?"

Ianto bit his tongue.

"Nah, then they say we are aliening them" someone complained.

"Alienating ya fucktard!"

Laughter.

"Right, then how about first in first served? One line, no pushing in?" Dylan asked, "Only your own plate unless permission from the teacher to get a friend a plate that is poorly or had a broken leg or whatnot."

Cheers.

Ianto breathed with relief as the first thing got agreed to and written down, Lorenzo nodded behind his hooded eyes.

First condition.


	4. Game called on account of food

"I think we should talk about the uniforms" another suddenly said, "Why do the girls get to wear the skirts?"

The place erupted with loud shouting and things flying, then came the weird part. Boy and girls removing clothing to swap.

"Ah, shit. They ain't gonna like that" one of the kitchen staff giggled, "Look at your boy."

Ianto watched Lorenzo swish about in a long skirt as the others howled with mirth, the tea towel on his head making it worse.

"I demand equal toilet time" he said in a silly voce, "And no one is to fart inside the class anymore. That is disgusting you vile creatures."

He flounced about some more and Ianto stated to laugh as well, shaking his head at the little girl who was gleefully stomping in Lorenzo's shorts as she 'checked her junk' amid whistles.

"Seriously though, we do need some warmer ones for when they make us…OI! NO EXERCISING OUTSIDE IN WINTER!"

Roars.

Lorenzo had tired of this game and come to Ianto who lifted him into his lap, kissing him as he cuddled him close. He held him for a while then Lorenzo found a second wind and leapt off to race over and poke one of those tied up, "Are you OK?"

He pulled the tea towel out of the boy's mouth and he replied "I'm hungry."

"Yeah, me too" Lorenzo turned to the workers, "Excuse me, can we eat?"

The men rose, Ianto along with them and he watched furtively as Lorenzo untied all their 'hostages' and they lined up for food and drink, then all sat and ate in silence.

"So, we have three good solid requests" Ianto said after a while and all the faces turned to him "No separate eating or food lines. The uniform can be worn by all regardless if it's a he, she or Hr. Lastly, winter activates inside, no running in the snow for Phys Ed"

They all chewed as they looked at him, "Are you all agreed?"

Nods.

"Then you write it on a piece of paper and put it outside the door. They have to answer" Ianto explained, then sat back as they children huddled together and did so, those who had been in trouble joining in.

It was a relief to see them all relaxed and agreeing as a little one biffed the note out tied to a bottle of water then they waited for the polite knock on the door.

" _Excuse me…Doctor Harkness-Jones? Are you alright in there?"_

"Don't push us, we are dangerous!" A boy yelled "Back off or….or…."

Several children were interested and the boy knew he had to say something believable, "Or his tie gets it! Looks bloody expensive."

Ianto sniggered as the kids cheered.

" _OK, look. We can talk alright? Come on now children, let's not mess the place up. The poor caretaker will have a heart attack"_

They considered the Head Master's pleas and then all started to move things back, letting him in and he looked around with alarm, then frowned, "I thought you had hostages."

"We did but then we got hungry so we stopped the game" a girl said as she flicked her bight green hair back "This place was so boring until today"

Ianto rose from his chair, "I think the children showed great imagination and amazing negotiating skills. A credit to your school that at such a tender age they are already willing to defend their rights. You should be very pleased."

The man blinked furiously as he considered and saw the positive spin Ianto was showing him, "Yes…well… future leaders here."

"Definitely" Ianto smiled, "Maybe even the future President."

The man bristled with pride in his school.

"You know, they did offer some good things, you cannot give them everything so maybe if you agree to the winter activities indoors and the food court seating being mixed then say the inform has to be taken under advisement for a future discussion they will let that one go. I think they only added it as they were excitable after the sugar pop." Ianto said softly, "You can be a winner for them too. You know…as their leader you need to show them that even the strongest man can bend to public opinion."

Ianto had never blown so much smoke up someone's arse without an evening meal for it first and he was relieved to see the little turd motioning to his assistant, repeating Ianto's' words like they were his own.

You know.

Dumber version though.

Ianto wondered how he survived to adulthood.

Oh yeah.

Money.


	5. hello there Pretty Man wif teeth

Ianto knew there would be backlash, those with money already bristling and vid-confrencing as they all decided how to respond to a show of strength like that.

Ianto was not like that, deciding to call only one person.

"Idris, hello my cousin" Ianto canted his head to the screen and the handsome black man sitting in the chair that looked suspiciously like a throne nodded back.

"What brings your face to me" Idris asked in a guttural growl.

"There were rumblings today" Ianto fell into Hoodlum speech as he explained what had occurred at the school and some cursing of-screen told him Idris had company who were not pleased either. Ianto expressed his concern that those in strong seats who might cause problems for his children.

"Tadda?"

Carley chose her moment, powering into the room as Jack chased her laughing and scolding the wet naked nymph clambering onto her yelping Tad to sit and smile sweetly at the screen. She did love a good audience, "Hewo pretty man."

Ianto sighed, "Lovely sentence darling, nice choice of compliment."

"He has teeth" she said happily, "Me too."

"Yes, a lot of us seem to have them darling" Ianto said calmly.

"Sorry love, she's like a bloody fish when she's wet." Jack leaned in and kissed Ianto lovingly as he tried to reclaim the little girl who was not having it, giggling as she squirmed and evaded him "Look you little snot ball."

"Lee, don't be so naughty. Poor Dadda might think you don't like his cuddles any more" Ianto scolded and she gasped as she grabbed at Jack to show he was still wonderful and Jack sighed.

"Thanks love, the boys are abed together again." Jack smiled, reaching out with a free hand to stroke Ianto's cheek then he looked at the screen and the smile faded, "Shit. Sorry, I didn't know you were on a call. Apologies sir."

"That's OK Cariad, this is my cousin Idris. Idi, this is my husband and you have just met our youngest. Little beast that she is." Ianto smiled happily as Jack bowed to the screen totally unaware that he was in an audience with the King of the Underworld. "Idris could not attend the wedding as he was off-world on business."

Idris smiled as a kiss was blown at him by a tiny hand, Carley wanting the pretty man with teeth to know she liked him too, "Bye-bye pretty"

Idris roared with mirth as they left the room and Ianto watched them for a moment too long, his face changing to show the love before he schooled his features back to business, turning to find a screen full of faces as several others leaned around the throne to look at him. Seems Idris had quite a court today.

"Christmas on Hades Prine!" one spluttered, "He has a nice Arse Toto."

"Yeah" Ianto smiled dreamily, then frowned, "Mine!"

Laughter as they moved away to give their King the screen once more.

"Don't worry sweetie, things are all fine" Idris smiled, "And I do want an audience with the family. Come to my palace for the weekend, yes?"

Ianto felt his bowels constrict as he smiled and nodded weakly, shit …shit….shit….gotta shit….Ianto ended the call and was soon on his own throne cursing softly with horror at the thought of taking Jack into the 'other' world.

But you do not deny your king.

Not when you are blood, after all.

.

.

.

.

Next morning they arrived at the school to a state of siege. Hoodlum in their royal colours calmly wandered about like they owned the place, those dropping off children both alarmed and impressed as the show of might was tempered with pride and politeness, the Hoodlum children seeing the royal standard for the first time and feeling the rush of power from it.

"Doctor?"

Ianto turned to find the Head Master standing behind a pillar, "There are at least twenty of them roaming my establishment"

"Hoodlum Guards and it is OUR school remember?" Ianto nodded, "They are of his Majesty King-Pin Idris' private army. Impressive, you should be very proud. If I were you I would make sure all the networks are aware of this. Been a long time since the King showed his colours like this. The Treaty commemorations each year the only time Hoodlum banners fly. Maybe it's time the colours were shown more, after all …we did win the war."

A moment as Ianto stared at the man and then Ianto reached into his pocket to remove a pin he sometimes carried for luck, pining it to the man's collar to show a Hoodlum H in bold golden glory.

"Maybe it is time for a great man to remember his own roots, your grandfather wore one like this long ago Morris. Your blood helped build this planet to its greatness too. Go stand, make a statement to the press that this is not a security contingent, merely citizens of this world indulging in the freedoms due to them in Law. Stand with that pin, feel your grandfather's hand on your shoulder and stop hiding for fucksake. You might have been raised by Plods but there is Hoodlum in there too. Stand up. Walk Tall. You are worth something."

The man stared at Ianto with open shock, then he touched the pin, "My grandfather was a man of few words. Silent and brooding in the corner. But…when we were alone…he would hug me and whisper that we must Walk Tall."

"Hoodlum walk together, we Walk Tall and do not bend to the will of others. The only thing we bend to is the will of the gods. But we never break. You are one of us. Embrace it, feel the fear drop away as your blood fires up. Morris, you can do his. You ARE Hoodlum. Go on. These men are your kin. Brothers. Do not fear them, they would die for you….for this pin."

Ianto watched the Head Master stride out to greet the cameras with his teeth flashing as he gave the speech of his life about equality, a time of harmony and change. More than once his hand strayed to the pin as it shone.

A new day indeed.

.

.

.

.

So….Ianto is more than he seems…always was but you know that. Now the source of the Jones Blood becomes real as we move to the side of Ianto Jones that is hidden in shadow, lurking and watching. His Dragon Clan Side. Time Jack finally finds out that he married into royalty.

Mandems.

Dylan's Uncle Idris is next folks...what a ride this is.


End file.
